In glad Im not that guy news

A Southern California woman was in jail Wednesday after allegedly drugging her husband, cutting off his penis, throwing it into the garbage disposal and turning it on, Orange County police said.

Catherine Kieu Becker put a drug or poison in her husband's dinner Monday evening to make him sleepy, according to the initial police investigation.

"The victim went to lie down and he woke up tied to the bed with his wife tugging his clothes off," police said. "The suspect grabbed the victim's penis and cut it off."

Becker told police he "deserved it" when they arrived at the scene after she called 911, the police report said. The couple is going through a divorce.

Becker, 48, was arrested for aggravated mayhem, false imprisonment, assault with a deadly weapon, administering a drug with intent to commit a felony, poisoning, and spousal abuse. She was booked into the Orange County Jail.

The 51-year-old victim, who hasn't been identified because he is an alleged victim of spousal abuse, underwent emergency surgery at the UCI Medical Center, police said. - CNN

Jesus waking up to that would blow my mind.  I would think the second I saw the knife come out I would gain superhuman strength and would rip apart the bed posts.  But if I couldn't do that I would try hold my breath till I die, hopefully before she got started on dicing my cucumber.  Other than that I'm fresh out of ideas on how to get out dick in tow.

No one protected this guys identity

-Les Anderson